Telling your whole heart IV
Assess your list
Last time we created a list of those around you. You assessed your relationships with who you have in your live now. Let’s look at it more closely. Look at all the names that are not marked out. What is it about those people that you find supportive? What specifically do they do to support you? Write the qualities you like about each beside their name. Now choose 3 or so to start with. My challenge to you is this: start today being emotionally honest with these few people. You may or may not want to let them know you working to be more true to yourself. You can tell them or you can just begin to find courage by being honest. Here is where you begin to change. You have observed, noticed and assessed…time to start doing something different. This is the exciting part and scary part.
This is scary and hard to do but exciting at the same time. Even with those you feel support you the most there is a vulnerability there when you are an open book. There are a great deal of what ifs, what happens if you don’t react like they expect you to? Will they still love you, still support you? Even if the answer is no, that some of these people can’t accept your whole heart, you need to know that in order to live with courage. Start small, if someone suggests Mexican food and you don’t want it tell them. If someone invites you to go to the movies and you would rather go to the gym, say that. If someone asks you if you are happy with your job/partner/etc….say what you feel. This is not to gain sympathy but to gain support and see that others will accept you for you. If those you selected to start with are not able to do this then you have to know. We spend a great deal of time avoiding bad feelings…feel what you are feeling. Even if you don’t like it! Stick with this select group for a little while and then we will move on to others!
Take away tip- Along with being honest with your select group, write down how you feel doing this. Is it a relief, create anxiety, feel good? Keep notes on each time you are able to follow through with this challenge. Please also note when you don’t follow through and try to articulate WHY you didn’t.
Our lives are unpredictable and many things are out of our control. However you do have the capability of improving your life with small and large changes. Thank you for having the courage to do this. You will be glad you did.
love and light
Jamie Stacks, LPC, LADAC