Why you should be your own best friend

Why you should be your own best friend

Why you should be your own best friend

Welcome back!  I talk about self-care, self-compassion, being kind to yourself and all that fun stuff.  Why?  I feel it is truly the key to becoming a happier, more content person.  I ask people in therapy all the time about their “inner self talk” and the looks I get often tell me exactly what I need to know.  Most of the time people do not speak kindly to themselves – in their minds or out loud.  

What qualities do you look for in a best friend?  Someone to be there for you, someone you can trust, one who puts your best interests first?  There is no better person suited for that job than you.  

Guess what?  You are the only person from whom you can never escape.  Everywhere you go, you are there and you always will be.  People spend years putting great effort into escaping themselves but they always come right back to where they were with their own thoughts and in their own body.  We abuse drugs to numb our feelings, we shop to “be more by having more”.  We run from ourselves and often abuse ourselves over and over.

How do you treat others?
When you speak to others, or do things for other people, you are kind and caring yet most people feel it is “selfish” to do the same for themselves.  At the risk of being very cliché I want to ask you to go back to the whole oxygen mask on the airplane scenerio.  If you can’t breathe you can’t save anyone else.  If you don’t provide yourself with good self-care, kindness and compassion you will be less effective in doing it with others.  You become resentful of always doing for others and feel left out and not worthy of good care.  When you do this you say to yourself and others “you are more important than me”.  I do not believe that is true.  We are all worthy, we are all good enough.  Read Brene’ Brown and she will tell you the same thing- I love her and her writing.  

I invite you to notice today and over the next few days how you treat others.  Notice your tone of voice, the actual words and actions you portray and just be aware.  Is it kind?  Is it caring?  Do your actions and words say to others “you are worthy, you are awesome”?  Now take those words, those actions, those thoughts and apply them to YOU!   Make a list of traits that you admire in yourself and put it on the mirror or the refrigerator where you will see it everyday.  

When you learn to become your own best friend suddenly life gets easier.  You are free to be and do as you please anytime because you are always with the most excellent company- YOU.  You can be alone with your thoughts and be at peace when you accept you for you.  There is always good- look for it within yourself.  Get to know your true soul- your true being.  Become an expert at noticing what is awesome and amazing and unique about you and let it thrive.  

Take away tip- create a list of positive traits about yourself and read them out loud to yourself everyday.  Create  list of kind things you can do for yourself and do them everyday.  Paint your fingernails, go for a walk, play with your dog, take a nap, eat a healthy meal.  Be kind to you and then notice how that feels.  Is it a strange feeling?  If you are not used to it that could be true.  Does it feel good?  Let yourself enjoy the little things.  Come back and tell me how this worked for you and what you did to take that step towards being your own best friend.

Love and light
Jamie

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